As I sit mourning the loss of a child, my child, I can see clearly now where my strength lies…
Isaiah woke up that morning happier than ever. He began to get all dressed up and even put cologne on…
I asked him where he thought he was going and he replied that he just felt like getting dressed up. He then said “I look nice don’t I?” allowing me time to size him up and appreciate every part of him inside and out.
I thought to myself, I’m so blessed. I literally have a beautiful angel as my son…
He then asked me to style his hair. Which was rare, for school he normally wore a hat. As I was styling his hair I began to give him a styling lesson so he could do his own hair one day.
He then assured me that he could do it but just likes it when I do it. He then went completely off subject, grabbed my hand and said “we are so happy right now, everything is perfect, I wish it could stay this way forever…”
He then told me that I was the best mommy in the world. I wanted to cry so I jokingly said “you talk to much, take your butt to school” we both laughed and shared a long intimate smile.
He then said “I got to get to school, I love you, see you after” walked away then stuck his face around the corner one more time to give me his beautiful bright smile…
The Loss Of A Child: It Only Took A Moment
I can hear my sister’s screams from up the street… Erin!! Erin!! It’s Isaiah!!
My heart sunk into the pit of my stomach. The room went black and I booked it out the door.
“Isaiah got hit by a car!”
I’m running barefoot as fast I can for what felt like an eternity. As I arrived I see the ambulance, police cars, and firefighters everywhere. “Isaiah is my son! Isaiah is my son…”
The firefighter with defeated teary eyes tells me that I need to get to the hospital immediately as my son was in critical condition. In my heart I already knew…
I began to scream at God as we drove to the hospital…
“See I thought we had an agreement God! I told you that if you spare and protect my son Isaiah that I would give you my life! I did that!!” I told him that I was done!
When I arrived to the hospital that did not have a trauma unit it was confirmation. The nurses and the doctors could barely hold back their tears. We all began to weep, no one had to say a word…
Isaiah was gone…
Finding Peace With The Loss Of A Child…
As I walked into the room I saw his broken body, eyes closed so peaceful I just began to weep and felt an extreme peace come over me…
My son was safe…
God had taken him home. See, in my flesh I thought sparing him meant for his flesh to remain here on this earth. God then brought me to 1 Corinthians 5:5- “Hand this man over to satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord…”
He kept his part of the deal. See God was in every aspect of this situation offering comfort…
Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Thank you Lord for offering me love and support at every corner.
Romans 8: For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
Romans 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
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