Planning A Funeral For a Child…

How can one even wrap their mind around this?

Wow, for the record planning a funeral for a child, your child… is as hard as it sounds. I really couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that I would never see Isaiah again on earth. I knew in the hospital that when I walked out of the room (got dragged out while kicking and screaming) that I would never see his body again.

When things become overwhelming and the anxiety starts creeping in, I lock myself in the bathroom of wherever I am and crank my worship music up on my cell and get lost in the Lord’s presence.

Planning a funeral for a child…

Isaiah was so sweet and considerate of everyone around him. The last thing he would have wanted was to make anyone feel uncomfortable, and for me a viewing is just that .

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

This particular day I was staying at the double tree hotel, three days after Isaiah’s death. During my breakdown (there can be much beauty found in a breakdown) God blessed me with an amazing idea. Sharpies! Isaiah always had a fixation with sharpies, if they went missing we knew where to find them…. Isaiah’s room, back pack, pockets and drawers haha. Isaiah would write all over everything he owned. He left little love letters for me everywhere as if he knew he was going to leave me soon. He drew him with football uniform, and angel wings. He also called himself sky trooper. God has been so gracious.

2 Corinthians 12:8-9 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

Let them write it. Literally give them a sharpie and let them get their closure. I prayed that God would allow Isaiah to read all the messages everyone had written and continue to write. I Called up stigma and he went to town making my baby a casket fit for a super hero.

The night that should have been a viewing had turned into a super hero casket signing. We gave everyone a sharpie and asked them to write whatever they felt on his casket. To clarify, Isaiah’s body was not inside.

We had snacks, shared stories and comforted one another during this unthinkable tragedy.

When planning a funeral for a child I do not feel there is a right or wrong way. I do however feel there is a way that may bring you moments of peace.

These four things make peace available to me…

#1. Keeping Isaiah’s memory alive.
#2. Doing what I know Isaiah would want.
#3. Reminding myself daily that Isaiah’s spirit is very much alive!!
#4. Do not let his dreams die. Isaiah had a plan to make this world a better place. I will live the rest of my days trying to accomplish just that, by letting God work through me. With Isaiah’s vision and God’s grace and my faith, my babies dreams will come true.

Planning A Funeral For A Child…

There are a few more things that are key during this time.

#1. Do not do it alone!! God has given you friends and family for support and encouragement. When you sit in silence for too long you give satan the opportunity to get in your head.

#2. Go to Lads’s Mortuary (that is some serious marketing) and just a suggestion. You do need to find a mortuary that is kind, compassionate and has a heart for children. I found that in this place. Doug was such a blessing. He took care of so much.

#3. Be humble and take all the help that is offered. What brought me the most pleasure was only having to deal majorly with the loss of my Isaiah. (which is hard enough). Adding the stress of finances, paperwork and all other horrible details that a mother should never have to encounter is just too much, too soon.

#4. I know you never want to imagine that your children will die before you but it is a harsh reality we must all come to grips with. We live in a dark world and it will only get worse. Be prepared. I would recommend a life insurance and or a savings for any type of death. It takes a huge toll on the loved ones still living.

#5. The final and most important is keeping as close to God as possible. God uses these moments to draw us near to him so that we can be safe. Whenever a negative thought comes into your mind call up your accountability partner, prayer chain, spouse or whoever will pray with you, and remind you where your baby is. All children belong in the kingdom of Heaven.. It is written, we will see them again!

I have many beautiful people standing behind me right now just waiting to help in any way they can. God is good and has called us to be the hands and feet. Please leave any prayer requests, comments or suggestions on how we can be a blessing… If you are reading this because you are planning a funeral for a child, I hope this can bring you some comfort.

Dear Lord, I come to you right now in the name of Jesus and I just thank you from the bottom of my heart. Lord, thank you for our secret place, Lord thank you for my boys, thank you for your shalom, thank you for my son Isaiah, and thank you for every person you have reading this. Lord God I ask that every person reading this will find peace in their life. I pray for healing, restoration and new thoughts. I pray for a renewed spirit and a positive mindset in Jesus Name, You said that you word would not return to us void Lord, so i stand on that right now.

Isaiah 55:11 so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

Matthew 7:7 Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.

Amen